have you ever looked at that man as his attention was not on you, as he had his head turned away and his thoughts to himself and you just go, "damn, i really love this man." well i had just now on the way back home. 

to think a year ago we were complete strangers and i still have walls built around me, so hard to break down. to think i was that single girl who only have her bestfriend as her world and strongly believed that we dont need any man to come into our life and give us closure. we're insecure but we're secured like that. so within our little bubble we exist and survive wit secrets, laughs tears and moments so precious that we had to share together.

but now. i had all th walls crumbling down as he made his way into my world. messed up, dark and not really one i would ever be proud to flaunt. he went from th boy who had his specs slipping down his nose bridge, to the 'naggy mum', to th guy who went to korea and all i did was missed him. he went from a friend to the man i'd confide to. he went to th man who wished he would be able to stay to hear my thoughts to the man who would listen to my every piece of my mind. he went to the man who will only see my smiles and laughs at work to the man who witness my tears and my days turned bad. he became the man i will now call 'MINE.'

slowly, he lead me into his life. it was overwhelming th first time. first times are always like that i guess? awkward, too quiet, uncomfortable, shy. 

today. i went around his world. it was simple. it was nice. it was warm. and i'd wished for anything for a world that is alot less complicated like his. 

i went to watch him being th soccer dude. him in his jersey, soccer boots out there running, perspiring and giving his very best out on the field. his random explosions of reaction on the field. his really exceptional speed even i cant compare as he ran for the ball. th determination in his eyes, the effort he puts in. as i sat there, i began to appreciate times like this where i could watch him be himself in his very own world. in his own skin. and i thought, "damn, this man really loves soccer. never shall i take that away from him."

i met his parents after that. with an open mind. partly praying hard, they're gna love me as much as my parents loved him. there i witnessed how much of a caring man he is. how he's actually soft-spoken to his family. how much respect he gives his elders. in his humble home, you'd feel safe and warm. maybe thats how he felt as he stepped in this home every time. and i thought, "damn, this man really loves his family. never shall i be th reason they drift apart."

we head to his secondary school mate's BBQ turned his birthday surprise party. welcoming, warm and nice. never a second passed with me feeling like i was actually a stranger. it felt like ive met them a couple times when in truth its just my second. these people who watched my man grow from a teenager to an adult he is right now. them who he called his bestfriends, best buds who watched him mould into a man. as their jaw dropped seeing my man broke his habits, witnessed him changed from the boy who did not take greens to one who chewed on 4 lettuce. from the boy who'd drink hos sorrows away to th man who get high on massive intake of greentea. and as i stood there as he held his birthday cake in his hands i thought. "such amazing friends. they should never feel like they lost this man somewhere."

i came back to see my sister sprawled on the bed and in an instant i smiled. i missed sleeping next to her and waking up to her noises. despite a night, i felt empty. because despite annoying the living hell out of her everytime, i still love her the most. and nothing can compare. she might be annoying as a prick, messy and irresponsible but she's my sister. and as long as i owned a soul, i shall protect her in every single ways and love her like no one could ever do it. because after all, she was my first love. the first person i fell in love with th moment they introduced me this small little girl, when i was a year and three months old. 

thnkyou my man.

for letting me in and introducing me to your world.

help. im out of ideas for the man's upcoming birthday. HEH. kudos to th best girlfriend ever~ xD